saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
