I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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