Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
