i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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