Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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