He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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