Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
