I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
