now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
