words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
