He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i've created a new STD.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I have tasted many bathrooms
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
