I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
