This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize