Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize