Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
