Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
