what day is it and did you see me today?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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