yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
