he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
