she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
