Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
