playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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