He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
