"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
