3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize