If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
