he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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