is your mom at the bar?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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