Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
i think i just lost a toe
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
