i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
