All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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