It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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