If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
there is puke in my bra ... again
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