is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
