Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
