What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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