Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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