What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Dignity is for republicans.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
