I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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