David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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