apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
