fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
How many fucks given?
0.12846
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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