I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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