white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
