I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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