Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
How does one acquire holy water?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
