Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
