FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize