White coat. Heels.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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