I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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