I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
pop tarts are not kleenex
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
