Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize