Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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