Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
