If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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