He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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