Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My breasts were aching with rage.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
