Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize