O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
